Courageous…go see it

Sarah and I went to see Courageous over the weekend.  If you have children, are about to have a child (like me) or are ever thinking about having children, you should see this movie.  I don’t think I’ll ever classify a book or movie as “life changing” (outside of the Bible), but this is a powerful movie that will probably have you talking long after the credits roll.  Too, I’m not one to see movies twice, but I’d go see this one multiple times in a heartbeat.  I’m also sure I’ll pick up the DVD or Blu-ray when it comes out, which I don’t do much anymore either.  It’s a movie that makes you think, and also challenges you to step into the role you have been called into.

The movie tells the story of five men and their families.  A personal tragedy causes one man to reevaluate his role as a father, husband and spiritual leader in his home.  His resolution inspires the other four men around him to also to go through a reevaluation and resolution process together.  There are a number of moral issues that are dealt with, and, in my opinion, dealt with head on.  The main message of the movie, if I had to sum it up would be part of a conversation between two of the characters:

Shane Fuller: “You’re being too hard on yourself.  You’ve been a good enough father.”

Adam Mitchell: “That’s just it.  I don’t want to be a good enough father.”

Over the past few years, through a number of groups, I’ve started trying to understand the commission I was given on my wedding day.  The minister that married us made a point about stating that my position as head of my family was not “merit based.”  I didn’t earn it, and there’s nothing that says I’m more worthy of that role simply by being male.  It’s a calling.  It’s something God has set forth, and something that I am supposed to do.  It’s something to aspire to.  In other words, marriage (and later parenthood) are not institutions that should be entered into lightly, because there is a responsibility that is borne by the parties entering into the covenant.  Responsibilities that you will have to answer for one day.  It’s not built to be easy, but it’s built to make you better than you were and give you joy you never could know any other way.

There is this “myth of masculinity” which is prevalent in our culture.  Men hear a message that is far from the truthand keeps them from fulfilling the role for which they were made.  I feel that the majority of this world’s problems are caused by men “missing the mark”, where the effect can be felt for generations.  I’ve blogged before about a definition for manhood that I believe has a lot of truth in it.  While this movie doesn’t come right out and say it specifically, I think these tenants are present throughout the story.  From the first five minutes of the movie, you see a man rejecting passivity and accepting responsibility – even as his own personal peril.  Now, it’s not something conscious (I believe) on that character’s part at that stage of his development, but it is something essential to being a man and something he comes to understand later.

With the impending birth of our first child, I find myself saying the same thing – “I don’t want to just be a good enough father.”  I strive to be good at whatever I do, and I want to do the best job I can wherever I am.

I’ve been to a lot of movies where I’ve found myself empathizing with characters in the film.  I can see life from their perspective, and I can try to understand why they do what they do.

This is just so much more.

This movie is for me and about me – without question.  I’m about to walk a mile (or really the rest of my life) in the shoes of these men.  I’m going to have my child looking at me and learning things from me, whether I’m intentionally teaching him/her or not.  If I have a son, I want him to know what it is to be a man, and I want him to know when that day arrives in his life. I want to be able to guide him in that journey, and then be confident when I send him into the world.  If I have a daughter, I want her to know what a man is and how that man is supposed to treat her.  I want her to not settle for anything less.  Either way, I want my child to be raised in a Christian home and seek God with everything that they do and are.  Too, I’m only going to have a limited amount of time to spend with these special people – whether that’s due to my life span or any outside event we can’t plan for.  I need to maximize my impact in that time.

That’s where my investment can have eternal results.  That’s not to say that other things won’t be important, but I’m pretty sure there will only be a few that are as important as the influence I will have (again, whether I want to or not) on my child (or children).

I really meant this to be a short post, but I guess it’s something that’s pretty big in my life right now.  So, in short, go see the movie.  You won’t regret it.

When you do go see it, let me know what you think of the movie.